As I struggle to put one foot in front of the other, my breathing has become shorter, my chest tight and the pain searing through my stomach is enough to make me want to scream. Giving up is not an option, fighting through this ordeal is the only way... no, I have not been beaten up or fallen off a horse – although those options may possibly be less traumatic... the feeling I am describing is the result of, wait for it, running!
In a slightly demented moment – over a large glass of red wine I have to add – I allowed my fellow, so-called friends, to persuade me in to thinking that running a half marathon would be a good idea. At the time it genuinely did seem like a genius plan to me and my competitive spirit rose to the challenge. Now the wedding is over I felt the need to get my teeth in to something else and by doing all that exercise it would mean I can eat as much as I like completely guilt-free! However in the cold, sober, light of day reality hit like a smack in the mouth when I realised what I have potentially signed up for.
In theory it seems less daunting – in practice – the thought is truly terrifying. As I battle through the first mile I am filled with horror at the prospect of just one more – never mind 13! I am told that it will get easier and that I too will soon be the slim, toned, athletic one striding out boldly at the front of the group – the only things keeping me going are this aspiration and the mince pies waiting for me at home! The smug runners at the front of the pack who actually choose to run further than we have to smile at me with a look of pity in their eyes – perhaps soon I too will be able to get on my high horse and offer a patronising pat on the back to weaker members of our team, but for now I remain very firmly at the rear!
You only ever see good runners out on the roads and I now see why! They seem to look so relaxed and effortless as they stylishly cover the ground, in streamlined leggings with their iPod’s strategically placed and those water bottles thingies you can put your hands through! I however, resemble a red faced, sweating, grunting excuse with my Primark leggings, husband’s hoody and very old, 80’s style silver trainers! Oh, and last night I completed the outfit with a pair of rather fetching turquoise leg warmers – it was definitely more Fame than Paula Radcliffe and that is the very reason I am sticking to running in the dark (with a rather fetching head torch I may add) because I am too ashamed to show my face in the daylight for fear of someone recognising me and laughing!
It is possibly the worst time of year to be starting – not only has the delightful English weather provided a rather unappetising offering of rain, rain and more rain, squelchy trainers and soggy t-shirts are not the most motivating reasons to get out and about. As well as this being Christmas it seems that everyone is doing the exact opposite to me – sitting in the warm, cosy, safety nets of their houses – eating lovely big dinners, chocolate and drinking mulled wine whilst watching trashy films. However on a positive note I can eat as much turkey and Christmas pudding as I like without piling on too many pounds and if I can get over the mental marathon of training in December I should be able to keep my legs going for 13 miles!
The only experience I can liken my running experience so far with in horsey terms is probably throwing myself on to the floor repeatedly and having my chest stamped on over and over – only then can you imagine the pain I am in right this minute after a run last night - even typing is an effort! Despite the pulling sensation in my calves and my inability to walk, I do appear to be getting bitten by the bug. I get cranky if I haven’t been out when I planned and the buzz and adrenalin when I achieve something that just two weeks ago seemed beyond expectations is addictive. I have also felt an improvement in my core strength and own fitness which has in turn benefitted my riding. I feel stronger in my upper body and those that say exercise is like a drug are starting to become less like weirdoes to me. It has made me realise how importance fitness is in our sport and how enjoyment levels are improved when you feel fit and strong in the saddle. It doesn’t have to be running – just exercising a couple of times a week seems to make the world of difference.
On a more serious note I have decided to run for Spinal Research (if they will have me!). The work they do is enough of an inspiration for me to push through the training and grin and bear the insignificant suffering in comparison to those affected by spinal injuries. Their role in the equestrian world is most definitely vital and if I can give back just a teensy bit of what they put in I would feel so proud.
As published on www.manage-my-horse.com in December's eMag
Wednesday, 30 December 2009
Thursday, 19 November 2009
A nip in the air turns all horses wild!
So, I am happily standing in the middle of the sand school, almost having to chase Ernie round on the lunge – having opted for the so-called quicker option of lungeing rather than riding – with a smug smile on my face as I think how well behaved and polite my beautiful horse is. I am merrily admiring how his muscles have built up over the past months, satisfied that he is working correctly from behind, and feeling rather pleased with myself as he appears to be hanging on my every voice command. You could hear the birds singing, the squirrels scurrying around collecting nuts and all was pink and fluffy in our little world.
Then, as if a bolt of lightning from a horror film has shot out of the sky, a black cloud darkened our Walt Disney film atmosphere and angelic Ernie turned into Ernie the psycho horse for no apparent reason. I found my heels dug rigidly in to the ground, spiralling (literally) out of control as I lose recognition of the galloping, bucking, jumping, squealing, grunting four legged creature that was now in front of me. After the third or fourth circuit (the time when he would normally have got whatever it was that was in his system, out) I realised this was not just any explosion – this was a ‘winter has arrived’ explosion and this episode could very easily continue for anything between 1 and 10 minutes!
It’s the unpredictability that gets me – one upwards transition too many and BANG – forget ‘we hope you enjoy the trip’ and bring in ‘hang on tight you are in for a bumpy ride’! After what seemed like hours (only minutes in reality) we got to the stage where he was either going to grow horns and come at me with a spear – or return to the obedient, lovable creature that was here just minutes ago!
Normally this may concern me - wondering if there is something slightly amiss with the brain of my normally quite sensible pony – however this is the time of year when the nip in the air seems to nip them in the backside and send them sky rocketing. I am sure I am not alone in this occurrence – it tends to be for a few days once or twice a year (normally November and January) and during that time one minute you can be playing My Little Pony – the next it is more Dawn of the Dead!
After attempting several of my calmest, most placid ‘whooah’s’ to no avail – I had a decision to make. Either haul him in to a smaller circle risking him slipping over, getting faster or kicking me in the head (the bucks appeared to be aiming inwards at me - does he not remember that I am the one who feeds him?) OR simply stand there until he wears himself out – albeit it at what seemed like 100miles per hour and was possibly going to make me vomit! Option B seemed the safest option, and some time later I managed to persuade the demons to leave his brain and thus returned my slightly sweatier version of Ernie. Apart from the visible steam rising from his body – he looked at me as if to say ‘what?’ and seemed to forget that he had seconds earlier resembled something from the Omen!
Feeling slightly dishevelled and windswept (from spinning round on the spot repeatedly) I then continued our lungeing session on the other rein back in Cinderella land with a sweet, steady horse who appeared to have totally forgotten the episode previous.
Don’t get me wrong – I am all for a bit of energy release and I am happy that I was not on board when this ‘whole body and brain take over’ happened – I suspect I wouldn’t have been on board for long if I had – but it does baffle me as to what exactly it is that turns them inside out when the seasons change. I know currently with winter on the way I want to do the exact opposite and just the thought of exerting any more energy than I have to makes me tired and wish for a mug of something hot.
It is like a switch that flicks over temporarily and allows all inhibitions to be dismissed and the takeover of Jack Frost to kick in. Luckily it seems to be short lived and after a few days of erratic behaviour I think I have got my horse back (for the time being anyway). Hopefully everyone else has stayed in one piece during this ‘winter had landed’ period. I am actually enjoying the crispy mornings and steamy breath at the moment and whilst winter does have its drawbacks (psycho horse syndrome being one of them) there are many reasons to love it. Nothing beats knowing they are all tucked up in their stables munching happily on their hay – plus it means Christmas is near.
As published in November's eMag, www.manage-my-horse.com
Then, as if a bolt of lightning from a horror film has shot out of the sky, a black cloud darkened our Walt Disney film atmosphere and angelic Ernie turned into Ernie the psycho horse for no apparent reason. I found my heels dug rigidly in to the ground, spiralling (literally) out of control as I lose recognition of the galloping, bucking, jumping, squealing, grunting four legged creature that was now in front of me. After the third or fourth circuit (the time when he would normally have got whatever it was that was in his system, out) I realised this was not just any explosion – this was a ‘winter has arrived’ explosion and this episode could very easily continue for anything between 1 and 10 minutes!
It’s the unpredictability that gets me – one upwards transition too many and BANG – forget ‘we hope you enjoy the trip’ and bring in ‘hang on tight you are in for a bumpy ride’! After what seemed like hours (only minutes in reality) we got to the stage where he was either going to grow horns and come at me with a spear – or return to the obedient, lovable creature that was here just minutes ago!
Normally this may concern me - wondering if there is something slightly amiss with the brain of my normally quite sensible pony – however this is the time of year when the nip in the air seems to nip them in the backside and send them sky rocketing. I am sure I am not alone in this occurrence – it tends to be for a few days once or twice a year (normally November and January) and during that time one minute you can be playing My Little Pony – the next it is more Dawn of the Dead!
After attempting several of my calmest, most placid ‘whooah’s’ to no avail – I had a decision to make. Either haul him in to a smaller circle risking him slipping over, getting faster or kicking me in the head (the bucks appeared to be aiming inwards at me - does he not remember that I am the one who feeds him?) OR simply stand there until he wears himself out – albeit it at what seemed like 100miles per hour and was possibly going to make me vomit! Option B seemed the safest option, and some time later I managed to persuade the demons to leave his brain and thus returned my slightly sweatier version of Ernie. Apart from the visible steam rising from his body – he looked at me as if to say ‘what?’ and seemed to forget that he had seconds earlier resembled something from the Omen!
Feeling slightly dishevelled and windswept (from spinning round on the spot repeatedly) I then continued our lungeing session on the other rein back in Cinderella land with a sweet, steady horse who appeared to have totally forgotten the episode previous.
Don’t get me wrong – I am all for a bit of energy release and I am happy that I was not on board when this ‘whole body and brain take over’ happened – I suspect I wouldn’t have been on board for long if I had – but it does baffle me as to what exactly it is that turns them inside out when the seasons change. I know currently with winter on the way I want to do the exact opposite and just the thought of exerting any more energy than I have to makes me tired and wish for a mug of something hot.
It is like a switch that flicks over temporarily and allows all inhibitions to be dismissed and the takeover of Jack Frost to kick in. Luckily it seems to be short lived and after a few days of erratic behaviour I think I have got my horse back (for the time being anyway). Hopefully everyone else has stayed in one piece during this ‘winter had landed’ period. I am actually enjoying the crispy mornings and steamy breath at the moment and whilst winter does have its drawbacks (psycho horse syndrome being one of them) there are many reasons to love it. Nothing beats knowing they are all tucked up in their stables munching happily on their hay – plus it means Christmas is near.
As published in November's eMag, www.manage-my-horse.com
Friday, 6 November 2009
Ernie's new Rainbow Equine outfit!
Ernie is modelling his brand new rug from Rainbow Equine today - he says thank you to Kerry for sending it - he likes it very much!!!!
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